Monthly Archives: May 2012

An excerpt from ‘the life in the night’ – Part four *explicit*

 Too young for him?! Mar. 12th, 2008 at 11:58 PM I wasn’t expecting to be working tonight, so had stuffed myself full of spag bol when the agency rings at 7.15 – any chance of making an appointment in the Marriott for 9.30. Dammit – there goes the night off and the chance to work […]

30 Day Challenge – Day twenty-four

Day 24: Something you’ve learned. My journey has only just begun, but I have already learnt many things. These beautiful pictures (sourced on google images) explain; Take Care. x  

30 Day Challenge – Day twenty-three

Day 23: Favorite Movies and TV Show. In England we have programmes called ‘Soaps’ – so I will start with those. I’m not sure what you call them in the US but they are on every night for 1/2 hour each. I’m totally addicted to the following; Eastenders Coronation Street Emmerdale Then there are a […]

30 Day Challenge – Day twenty-two

Day 22: What do you want your future to be like? I want to get a deeper understanding of my BPD, and I want to be able to control it. I accept I will never be able to be free of it, or live without it, as it has been such a big part of […]

Never underestimate your effect as a parent

One of my biggest concerns of becoming a parent (just to clarify I am  not pregnant, just thinking about the future) would firstly be if there is a genetic element to BPD, and secondly how my BPD would affect how I brought up my child. I love my parents, and they love me. But it […]

30 Day Challenge – Day twenty-one

Day 21: Something you’re proud of. All through my life I have tried to do things, and never been very successful. I tried to be musical, I scraped through Piano Grade 3, before giving up. I tried having horses – admittedly that wasn’t about success, but I wasn’t succesful when I tried to compete and […]

An excerpt from ‘the life in the night’ – Part three *explicit*

*GFE = Girl friend experience (French kissing, massage etc)  GFE Mar. 11th, 2008 at 8:20 PM Bit annoyed as I came on this morning a week early, only light but it’s race week for christ sake – one of the busiest weeks in this area for an escort! I rang the agency who advised me […]

30 Day Challenge – Day twenty

Day 20: Something you wonder “What if…?” about. This one is easy… What if I didn’t have BPD? Would any of my life experiences have been the same? Would I still be in the same place in my life as I am now? What if I had pefect hair? Would I have been more popular […]

30 Day Challenge – Day nineteen

Day 19: Things you want to say to an ex. This is a good one as I have spent a long time thinking of things I wish I had said to ex-partners. To Jean, I would say; “I’m sorry that we let my BPD destroy your family” – of course, I am sorry for some […]

Questioning the psychology behind being triggered

Today, after I received some more pictures from the friend who is not particularly well at the moment, I felt the familiar urges to cut. But now I am going to take a moment to think about actually why I feel these emotions rather than just blindly accepting and acting upon them. So, when I […]