Finding myself

As with many other BPD sufferers, I really don’t know who I am. I have drawers and drawers full of clothes, and wear 10% of them. Some are too big, some are too small, some I simply couldn’t ‘pull off’, some I bought in the spur of the moment and have never seen the light of day. I seem to have no sense of style, and never follow a theme – normally I wear the first thing I can find that hides me but sometimes I do make an attempt to put at outfit ‘together’.

Is it normal to have to THINK of the style you want to be? For most people it seems to come naturally, they either like an item of clothing because it ‘fits’ into their style, or they don’t. But because I don’t have that style I keep promising myself, today I am going to find my style, and be a new person, but it never happens. I just trundle along, procrastinating about it.

I’ve tried towny, jitter, goth, even chav!! but nothing fits. Same goes for my hair. I wear it all different ways but nothing feels like ‘me’ I just feel like I’m trying to be someone else.

Take Care. x

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3 comments

  1. Angel O'Fire · · Reply

    I have always said there is no such thing as ‘normal’, and like yourself I am one of those people who dosnt follow trends I wear whatever is comfortable or I like kind of thing, so therefore to answer your question I think it’s perfectly natural to have your own style and choice in clothes, shoes, hair whatever it is, it shows your individuality, always stay who you are, take it easy
    Angel

  2. Mandi · · Reply

    This is so me. Although I don’t know what any of those styles are except goth. But I’m sure there’s a US equivalent. 🙂 I have NO sense of style, hair or clothes. I’ve learned to try on a lot. (#1 rule it has to be comfortable, stylish or not) I rely a LOT on what other people say looks good, the people I know will be honest about it 🙂 I think its fine to mix it up and have different styles though. I do. I take it day by day cus I never know how i’ll feel! I have had to take a few uncomfortable chances though to find out how I really felt. ANYWAY, I get it. I just can’t pull off what a lot of people can. But I’ve also found that sometimes I can!

  3. I can relate to this a lot. I have so many clothes I’ll never wear, so many mis-sized outfits and shoes I don’t even like. I give them to charity regularly, but I soon start feeling uncomfortable in my old clothes and have to buy something new to give me confidence. I often wear entirely the wrong size of underwear, because I have no idea what I really look like and how much space my body takes up.

    My mother often shouts at me because I have drawers spilling with clothes. She doesn’t understand that it’s all part of the problem I have with my self-image, and I need support, not telling off like a child.

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