Day 16: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it.
I am going to write this objectively. Please don’t think I am up myself (my main concern when saying positive things about myself), I am just trying to fulfil the days assignment in an objective manner.
- I like my hair. It’s really curly, and when I have the motivation to look after it properly, I get lots of compliments about it. Lots of people pay money to have permed hair so I am grateful that mine is natural. After all, I spent years trying to tame it and control it, hating the frizz and wishing it was different.
- I think I am beautiful, when I am wearing make up. When I am not wearing make up, my skin is blemished in areas, and my face isn’t symmetical, I smile funny. I have an obsession with plucking my eyebrows (I spent several hours each day doing it whilst watching TV and now rarely use a mirror, and if I don’t have tweezers I find myself doing it with my fingernails) so my eyebrows are often sore, blotchy and do not match, or plucked far too much. I have a very slightly lazy eye, hardly noticeable, as I was born with a squint and had three operations as a child to correct it. I don’t like my teeth, they are more yellow than I would like them to be. I don’t like my nose, it’s too big and had blackheads on it.
- I like my breasts, they are a decent size and pert, except (sorry too much info) because of the PCOS I get hairs growing on my nipples, which although I am obsessed with plucking, are constantly ingrowing, red and sore.
- I hate my stomach. It is fat, flabby and no matter how thin I was, it was still flabby.
- I used to like my legs but now they are too flabby
- I don’t like my bum, it is too big.
- I only like my feet when I am going through a motivated stage of looking after them. Other than that, I hide them as much as possible as my big toes are wonky and I get hard, dry skin on my heels
- I hate my hands. They are like mans hands, and the back of my left hand is covered in cigarette burn scars (and now the palm has a big scar on it too). My nails are horrible as I don’t know how to shape/file them properly so I always leave them too long then just hack them all off with nail clippers.
- I don’t like arms, the tops are flabby, the bottom of my left arm is covered in bad self harm scars and they are too hairy, having them waxed is awkward because people worry about waxing over the scars
- Generally, I hate the excess hair I get from PCOS, mainly on my legs, bikini line and face. Sometimes on my legs, I get four hairs coming out of one pore! I try to get waxed as often as I can face it, and that includes the tops of my feet, full leg, brazillian (yes you read that right!), underarms and arms. It is torture and makes me hate my body for having to go through it just to be ‘normal’.
- I like my height, I’m 5’8. I wish I could lose 1 stone in weight. I like my voice except I wish I could sing.
I try to be a good, kind person. I hope this makes up for what I am lacking physcially.
Take Care. x