Questioning the psychology behind being triggered

Today, after I received some more pictures from the friend who is not particularly well at the moment, I felt the familiar urges to cut.

But now I am going to take a moment to think about actually why I feel these emotions rather than just blindly accepting and acting upon them.

So, when I see a picture of self harm, I feel several emotions. I guess part of me feels like that person shouldn’t be cutting themselves because cutting is my problem not theirs. Of course, logically, that isn’t true; it is not my problem, it is lots of peoples problem. I also suppose a part of me must realise the attention that those cuts will have got – from the support of friends and family, to the nurses and doctors at the hospital – and this makes me crave it – and we all know the way to achieve it – to cut. I also imagine how it must have felt to make that cut, and the relief that person must have achieved – and want it for myself.

So now I have worked out the reasons behind being ‘triggered’ – how do I go about changing the behaviour? Perhaps I should try to explore other avenues for the attention I so desperately seek. A positive source as opposed to a negative and self destructive one. And how do I source the attention when my original actions were sub-concious? How do I treat something that I don’t know is happening until the resultant behaviour has occured (self harm)? Does that make sense? That all the parts in-between seeing a triggering picture and the self harm behaviour I later carry out – and blurry and unidentifiable!

Take Care x

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2 comments

  1. Angel O'Fire · · Reply

    Triggers can come from any thing, they don’t have to necessarily come from a picture you see, they can come in many forms for example an advert you see on the side of a bus that has no connection to cutting and self harm yet something in it is the trigger, that makes you feel that need or urge to go back to the devil you knew kind of safety.

    By learning about what the disorder is that you have and learning your not as alone as you feel at times, will help with your feelings that your fighting with yourself about attention and love that you seek.

    Therapy with a good therapist who understands BPD and CBT will defiantly help you to change the behaviors that you have become accustom to,

    CBT is a great way to re evaluate and stop when your in a situation that has potentially triggered your self harming, and to understand why, giving you the time you need to process things, and a way to deal with the urges you have that are constructive as opposed to destructive.

    They say the hardest person to actually get to know is ourselves, which over the years I have come to realise is an accurate perception.

    The next hardest thing to do is to accept ourselves with our flaws, and learn how to manage them. ((hugs))

  2. Broken Light: A Photography Collective · · Reply

    I and many others can relate. Did you take that pic? Gorgeous. If this is yours, I would love for you to submit this or other photography work to our gallery. We are all photographers connected to mental health issues.

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