Social Media and BPD?

I think I allow Facebook to affect me a lot more than a normal person would.

Sometimes when I do things, I imagine what the reaction would be on facebook. I connect how many likes and comments I have to how much and how many people love me. I take comments on there far too seriously. I am addicted to facebook.

I used to put ominous status’s on there, about how things we’re going bad, how bad I was feeling – until someone pointed out to me it was very attention seeking (even the popular ‘I’m going to take a break from facebook I’m really upset blah blah blah) post was used) – and you know my issues over being seen to be attention seeking – so that was the last time I did that.

So what is this all about? Is it because social media is a massive platform for attention, and attention is what I crave? But why does it affect me so deeply when I get negative attention on there, a snidy comment or someone disagreeing with me? I will react my deleting posts claiming I can’t cope with it. Why am I so sensitive about it? Perhaps any negative attention in the public domain is too difficult for me to bear. Perhaps I have so little self esteem I am trying to cling on to the little bit I have left.

Take Care. x

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6 comments

  1. Jaen Wirefly · · Reply

    Insightful post. I do think those with BPD struggle with social networking/internet addiction due to attention; as you described and because of difficulty with real-life interpersonal issues.

  2. I do the same and have even found myself doing it with my blog too…nobody liked my post? delete it and stop blogging for a while, negative comment? feel like my world is sinking and refuse to allow it on the blog. We struggle with any negativity so if deleting those posts helps…then don’t think of it as a bad thing. Look at the positive comments you get on here from people who find your blog interesting and helpful. Try to focus on those instead and feel that little bit of a boost each time someone says ‘you did a good job on this one, thank you’
    Scienerf xxx

    P.S. I love this post, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. Thankyou 🙂

  3. Actually, now you have said that, I do it on my blog too. If no-body likes or comments, I feel useless, and I must check the stats at least twice a day – god forbid if someone made a negative comment, I haven’t had to deal with that yet.

    Thank you 🙂 🙂 🙂 My blogging journey has been a very interesting one, to learn that things I do that I thought were just me actually affect other people too!

  4. Mandi · · Reply

    So I haven’t gone to sleep, still laying in bed at 7:05am. Because of Facebook. I havent put too much into it, avoid as much as possible. But I HAD to go a f’ing look. At… get this… my mothers page. She just posted a stupid fucking little quote thing about families and love and SHIT. Just to make herself look good! I would LOVE TO post all her emails and texts on there for all her friends to see. LOVE? You’ve got to be FUCKING kidding me! Its taking EVERYTHING I have not to comment. Why the hell I have her still as a “friend”? Because I don’t want to look like the petty one. And because I want to know what my parents are up to… and where they are. They live 4hrs ir so away but come over often. To the city. Not HERE.
    Then of COURSE that leads to looking at more stuff and wondering “why don’t all these people care about me?” WHY? Because I’m not able to do/be what they wanted/needed a year ago. They didn’t care about ME! It was because I “fixed” people. I was a designer and they usex that, and a publicist and they REALLY used that. And I LIKED it because it made me feel worthy. So when I crashed I lost all the “friends” I thought I had and that fucking SUCKS! 75% of the people who comment aren’t people I even live around. I wont even post on facebook. But I do put a link to the blog. Ya, im not anonymous because I started the blog to update friends/family. But those friends/family arent there! I had like 150 read my last post and it looks like majority aren’t people I know.
    I’ve GOT to leave it. People have lives and we’re a LOT of work. I’ve got to remember that! I hear all the time that people “care”. REALLY? Cus I havent gotten any texts, comments, emails, notes … from these so called people who “care”. Im not expecting people to jump in the middle but a text now and again, even every other month… would be good! How hard is it to just say “thinking about you”. It must be a LOT harder for others. It wasn’t hard for ME WHEN I DID IT FOR THEM. But I guess they were worthy to me but I’m not WORTHY enough, GOOD ENOUGH for them anymore. Can’t get you on radio or tv, can’t help with your house plans or business cards and I’m useless!
    Fucking A! Ya, I totally get it. It fucking SUCKS seeing all this shit but youre lost somewhere in the middle. Awesome rant. From my phone even. Without sleep. Im a genius. 🙂

  5. Angel O'Fire · · Reply

    I think face book effects us all in it’s own way, oh how I love the face book groupies that one can and does acquire along the way, then there’s the face boo haters and troll’s who seem to delight in causing the entire network as much annoyance as possible in a short space of time, pfff…….. yes Facebook defiantly has a lot to answer for. Some people honey come into your world for a short time be it virtual or actual, if they don’t have time to drop you a g’day how u doing then fuck em there loss. ((hugs))

  6. Interesting post, I’m pretty much the same as you described. I’ve permanently deleted myself now as a lot of people were causing trouble and interfering in my relationship. I used statuses on there to vent about my life cos I has no one else to talk to and needed an outlet

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