Why can’t I just be normal, and calm, in social situations? I never know what to say, or how to act, so normally just sit there with my mouth firmly closed, then come across as either moody, or rude. And when I do speak, I normally say the wrong thing, something innapropriate, or it doesn’t come out right, with either a stammer, or I mix the words round the wrong way so have to repeat myself. Sometimes I can even hear a tremor in my voice as I speak.
Why am I like this? People haven’t made me feel uncomfortable, in fact, for the most part, most of the time the people I am with try their best to make me feel welcome. I leave places thinking I won’t bother to go again, or end up sitting in my car rather than socialising. Is this shyness? Or is this BPD?
Also, when I am talking to someone, I cannot keep eye contact. At first I never realised I was doing it, until it was pointed out to me. I start a sentence, and by the time I have finished my eyes will have flicked away to somewhere in the distance. What am I afraid of?