I know I am doing good at the moment, I have most BPD symptoms under control (no suicide attempts, only half-hearted fleeting thoughts about them, no active self harm depsite regular feelings and urges, no out of control behaviour (spending, drug taking, meaningless sex), and although I have been having issues with feeling to close to people, I have hopefully been keeping that under control.
But despite all that, tonight, I feel like a black cloud has descended on me. Perhaps it’s because I’m tired, or perhaps I am lonely. I so long for someone to just hold me tight and not want to let me go. I don’t mean sex, or even anything remotely like that. It’s completely not related. I want someone to just hold me because they love me enough to do that. I have lots of friends that I just want to cuddle but don’t, because I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.
I cuddled my dog all last night, but I get the feeling even he’s now getting fed up with me 😦 Please send me hugs 😦