Monthly Archives: September 2012


I am trying to be strong tonight but bot going too well. the anxiety got too much so ive taken some valium to settle it. The pressure is getting too much. Am I allowed a break from being strong and well??? I just want to press the off switch for a little while and not […]


Trying so hard – but it just isn’t working.

I just can’t carry on like this. Myself and my mother are clashing at work, in a big way. She WILL NOT do things the way that they need to be done, according to our new computer systems, and according to the law governing our industry. I am dissociating, I can feel it, and I […]

An excerpt from ‘the life in the night’ – Part Nine *explicit*

 Another first Apr. 6th, 2008 at 12:02 PM My client last night was another first – my first American! I was given the heads up by the agency before I went that he was a lovely american gentleman that liked lots of deep throating, which to be honest, worried me slightly, as i have a […]

Another version

I while back I posted this picture, saying that it was the best picture I’d even seen, and that I could just feel everything I was meant to feel. Anyway, by pure luck, I actually came across the actual photograph this picture was drawn from (I didn’t even realised one existed). This is all I […]

Memories of an Eating Disordered Teen *ED Triggering*

On Tuesday night I went to spend the night with my friend Kim, and we got talking about Bulimia, and I suddenly remembered that at one time when my eating was bad, I had kept a livejournal, and after a little searching, I managed to find it. After reading through it, I can identify how […]

Valium, sigh.

Things seem to be on a slightly slippery slope again. I know this is mainly due to work but I don’t see any way to sort it. Yesterday, was a stressful day. Probably due to the weather, most people in their cars were ASSHOLES. Sorry, I know this is judgmental – perhaps, practicing non-judgmental stance […]