Monthly Archives: October 2012

Back here again

I am back here again. I want to cut. I feel so over emotional but I can’t cry. I feel exhausted despite having plenty enough sleep. Things escalated just before I left the office yesterday, finishing with an exchange of words between myself and another member of staff. This set the tone for today, for […]

What is wrong with me?

I feel overtired and I have been feeling incredibly emotional all day. I started crying in the office earlier (although I think successfully disguised it as something in my eye and a coughing fit combined) because I had a conversation with Kim who brought up the fact that at some point she will die and […]

A letter to my mother

 A while ago, I said I would write a letter to my mother, trying to explain, and perhaps improve things. This has been a long time in the coming and this is only a first draft. I would really, really appreciate your thoughts/comments/critique on this – anything I should add? Take out? Change? Please be […]

Two years ago today, the truth.

Two years ago today; I tried to die, I didn’t panic, I didn’t cry. I slipped a plastic bag over my head, got sent to a secure unit instead. Things got so bad I couldn’t keep fighting, couldn’t keep trying to do the right thing. 28th October 2010, I won’t let that day happen again. […]

Anxiety at christmas time

I don’t know if anyone can relate to this but I hope they can, and I hope they can give me or show me a way to get my head around it. I do have generalised anxiety, but I suffer from a lot of anxiety related to the giving and receiving of gifts, particularly at […]

They ain’t gonna be around forever kiddo.

Tonight I overheard my Dad telling my Mum that his PSA levels had increased from 8 to 11. Rewind almost two years ago, the mail comes in and I am flicking through when I see a window envelope addressed to my dad, but the paperwork inside had slipped down exposing the title ‘Oncology Appointment’. We […]

I bet you will relate as much as I did… (A life with Borderline in pictures)

I am going to share these photos because at some point in time, I have completely related to them, if not now. This isn’t a reflection of my current state of mind, in fact, I am feeling really good right now. But I couldn’t not share these as they are so, so true for us […]