He won’t like me.

As you may or may not know, I am off to Iceland at the end of this week, with Simon, by friend with benefits.

I am really looking forward to it, and looking forward to enjoying his company, but I am dreading the fact that he is going to see me naked. I know he’s seen me before but I have put on a stone recently (14lbs… Not sure how many kilos!!) and I feel awful… And I’m sure that he won’t find me attractive. In fact, no matter how much I’m looking forward to sleeping with him, I’m pretty sure it won’t happen because he won’t want to do it.

I look at large people who are comfortable with their bodies and wish j could be that carefree. I know confidence is attractive but I just can’t force myself to have it.

Another shit night tonight of needing to cut. I’m not sure how much longer I can be strong for. I feel like an alcoholic needing a drink. A nasty comment about hogan was fed back to me and really upset me; fair enough slag me off, but not my dog, who doesn’t deserve it.


  1. He’ll think you’re beautiful because you are. But even if he didn’t, fuck him! He’s not exactly a stand up kind of guy. Just enjoy your trip. I’m sure he’ll be nice which will make things more fun. It’ll be ok!

  2. Enjoy Iceland, regardless of what happens or what he thinks. You are beautiful and so is Iceland. I was there in April. It’s a wonderful country – and the northern lights are out at the moment and they’re spectacular! xo.

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