So, I learned three things today. 1) the blue lagoon in Iceland is my absolute new favourite place in the world. 2) Simon is a complete love rat. 3) I don’t actually care about number 2).
1) We went to the Blue Lagoon this morning. Seriously, google it – it is the most fantastic place. Milky blue hot water, a geysir, steam, a bar, silica gel for your face… I was in heaven.
2) Simon and I fell asleep last night, after good but rough sex. Don’t get me wrong, I like it rough, but there doesn’t seem to be that gentleness about him like there would be for someone who cared for me. I fell asleep in his arms for the first time this week, but only because I asked to be there, otherwise he would have rolled over and gone to sleep. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, and I certainly don’t want any more from him. The sex is good, and that will be as far as it goes. At the lagoon today, we were relaxing, when we began talking about celebrities. I asked him if he found a particular celeb attractive, and he replied “Surely a more appropriate question for a man would be, would you do her?”
Jokingly, I told him he was a man-whore, and that he probably had five other women at home, other than myself and his ‘girlfriend’.
He replied,’only the one’!
It turns out, all this time I’ve felt guilty for sleeping with him when he has a new ‘girlfriend’ at home who is clearly besotted with him, he has been sleeping with some woman he works with.
The news came as a shock so me but I think a welcome one, it reaffirmed thoughts that no matter what happened, I definitely didn’t want a relationship with Simon.
3) As above, I no longer have any emotional attachment towards Simon, and I am glad I have been able to make that step without getting hurt. Of course, I will miss the great sex, but there really is more to life, even for a Borderline who uses sex in the way we do! Simon says when he gets back he is going to dump his girlfriend because she is too clingy. I doubt he will, but I hope she sees the real him just like I have.