I talked about the situation with Kim and it suddenly all became clear to me. The woman I had the argument with, who has been talking to Simons girlfriend, knows Jean. So obviously, everything that happened between myself and Jean has been dragged from the past.
I don’t want to talk about Jean. I don’t even want to think about her. It brings back such terrible memories of an awful time in my life and it takes me right back there. It leads me to reach for the razors and pills, my familiar place. I want this to go away but it clearly isn’t going to. I’m not strong enough to drag this from the past and analyse it over again. It needs to stay in the past where it belongs.