I have come to the conclusion that Simon has no real respect for me, and probably never did. The sex that used to be affectionate and kind is now rough and tumble (I’m not complaining its merely an observation)… We don’t kiss… It is merely an act of physical pleasure for the both of us (albeit him more than me as he has never made me come).
Today has been a seriously long day. We drove a 500 mile round trip from Reykjavic to Joyklarsson and back again, taking 14 hours in total (with stops). I have been making observations about Simon during this trip, things that haven’t come to light before, or maybe I just didn’t want to see them.
First of all, he is arrogant. Self confidence is attractive, arrogance not so much. I’m guessing he believes he is gods gift to women given that he is sleeping with me (20 years his junior), his girlfriend, plus someone he works with.
Secondly, his manners are appalling. Little things have been bugging me, like how often he smokes, then throws the butt on the ground. Have you not heard of a dustbin? Jeez. We are in this beautiful country and he is showing no respect for it. That leads me on to the next thing. On the way to the lagoon today we stopped off on the edge of a Glacier, to walk along the track on to it. Now, anyone who knows me will know I have a big phobia of sinking (mud, sand, anything that is unsteady beneath my feet). It just freaks me out and I panic. On the way to this glacier Simon pulled ahead of me and I suddenly found myself halfway down a steep bank of cobalt sand which started shifting beneath my feet. I was frozen to the spot, and begged Simon to come back and get me, but he just turned and carried on walking, laughing like it wasn’t a big deal.
Luckily for me, an American man who had been following us with his wife caught up with me and offered me his hand so I could get down safely. When I caught up with Simon, I saw two things; the first was that he had been using one leg of the camera tripod he had offered to carry for me as a walking stick and broken the foot (it’s not even mine, it’s my dads, he lent it to me for the trip) and secondly, he had unzipped his trousers and was taking a piss in the middle of the path where everyone had to walk. I was disgusted at how disrespectful he was.
Everything that has annoyed me I have let go over my head, I haven’t even brought it up in conversation and I am very proud of myself for that. Yes, perhaps I am being a pushover but I promised myself I would have a relaxed holiday and picking fights with Simon over problems in his attitude is definitely not the way to facilitate that.
He asked me today whether I would like to go on holiday again with him, perhaps next year. I gave a nob-committal answer. Of course I am not going to go on holiday with him again, hell, after Iceland I will never sleep with him again, but he won’t know that until he works it out for himself. Telling him will only cause trouble.
I do feel terribly sorry for his girlfriend though. She is totally besotted with him and cannot see what a bastard he is. Funnily enough, nor could I, until the past few days. For example, an hour ago, we had sex. Afterwards, I went to get us a drink each, and come back in to him texting her goodnight. Now, I’m not bothered by this at all, thankfully. If nothing else, Iceland has shown me I no longer have any emotional attachment to him. It’s her I feel sorry for. I guess she will find out what he’s like for herself soon enough.