The longer I lie here upset, the more I am starting to realise what damage I have done to peoples lives. First, there was Jean, I destroyed her family and then left her to pick up the pieces. Next, Tom, the gundog trainer who accepted me into his life, supported me through suicide attempts, self harm, psychotic illness. How did I repay him? I slept with him then dumped him like a stone. Next, another gundog person. I led him on, let him say things to me that were innapropriate then told people, and claimed I was innocent. Then Simon. I knowingly slept with him knowing his girlfriend was at home worrying herself sick.
People are wrong about me. I am not a good person. I don’t care whether I am using Borderline as an excuse or not. I am a bad person who preys on peoples vulnerabilities, their desires, to use them to get what I want. I deserve all that is coming to me.