So I know I should be grateful for the free healthcare provided by the national health service in this country, but sometimes I really feels as though they just don’t give a damn. I have been chasing my referral for DBT for over 3 months now but just seem to be going in circles. This morning I finally got somewhere. I received a letter saying I had missed another appointment that was made for me at my old mental health team (it would have been nice if they had told me I had the appointment in the first place…)
I phoned them and explained that I didn’t receive any letter, and asked what the appointment was for. Apparently, they need to provide ‘up to date’ notes on me before they can transfer me to the new mental health team (that is in my area I now live in, and provide DBT) and that during this appointment I missed, I would be providing that information. They also said that now I had missed the appointment, I would have to wait at least another month for another one. Every part of me is struggling against the need to think ‘I’m obviously not worth it’ and to give up, but I really, really want this therapy, not for me, but for the people around me who worry so much about me.
The lady on the phone told me the best thing for me to do was agree to be completely discharged from their mental health team, then go back to my GP, and get referred, starting to process from scratch again. This is a really daunting thought, that I will have no support at all from any mental health team, no crisis team (not that I have access to one at the moment anyway), and I will have to go through everything over again. Is THIS really worth it? Can I put myself through all of this process again?