Things have settled down

Just wanted to do a little post while I’m feeling good, because I want to make sure my blog is a true representation of what life with BPD is like – are although they haven’t been too often in my life so far, there ARE good times, and I am currently in one. I have no idea how long it will last, I expect not too long, but I am taking it as it comes and appreciating it for what it is.

The anxiety is very low at the moment and seems to be event-related rather than generalised, which is more ‘normal’ so that is easier to deal with. It’s always hard to get on top of it if there seems to be no obvious cause. Yoga is going well – I have been a couple of times, even though I am the least flexible person I know! I am struggling to get the breathing right, but i’m sure that will come.

Work is going okay – it’s a lot better without the lady that caused trouble, and the only friction now is between my mum and me – mainly her not wanting to use new systems or do things properly. They blow up into arguements quite quickly so this needs to be worked on.

I started a new diet on the 1st on January, and was 12 stone 6 lbs at this point. Technically, according to all the charts, this makes me overweight, but I know you should never go with those charts. I am going by how I feel and how I look. Most of my clothes don’t fit me any more – some size 14 – and I feel disgusting. When I lok in the mirror I see rolls of fat, and bulges. I am probably seeing things worse than they are but it is how I feel. After one week, I weighted in at 12 stone 2.6 lbs, but I wonder whether that was just water weight.

So for now, keep strong, and keep safe xx

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7 comments

  1. This could have been a post by me! LOL Although I’m not working, I have been applying for jobs online this week. Kind of feel ready. We’ll see. Your blow-ups with your mom remind me of my relationship with my son who is almost 17. I’m also feeling pretty good right now, and have to acknowledge it. It feels like normal, like it could go on, but I’m realistic in looking at the past and knowing it’s temporary. Good to enjoy while we feel that way though! I haven’t been trying to lose weight, though I should. What you said about how you feel is again how I’ve been feeling. Tomorrow morning our yoga class will resume (after the holidays and our instructor needing to take care of some family issues.) I picked up a yoga dvd to help, but have only used it once. Will try again today. I need the structure of a class I guess!
    Sorry, I didn’t mean to go on and on about myself, but what you posted was SO my life right now that I had to share. Hope your good feelings continue for a long, long time! 🙂

  2. Glad to hear you are doing so well. Keep it up!!

  3. whitewarriorprincess · · Reply
    1. What a lovely suprise to wake up and read this comment, thank you so much for making me feel like I am making a difference. I will definately look at the link you have given me. I have followed your blog and look forward to hearing more from you xxxxxx

      1. whitewarriorprincess · ·
      2. I’m so glad you found me, and good to chat this morning. I don’t use facebook for this because the majority of people I know don’t ‘know’ the real me, or my past. They have met me in recent years when I am known as Shelley, smiling, happy-go-lucky. (AKA: Putting the face on so people can’t see the real me). xxxxx

  4. whitewarriorprincess · · Reply

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