Write out your examples of using the skills, made up or for real!
Yesterday I had a situation where the postman who delivers the mail to work made an inappropriate comment. I was the only one in the office at the time and he said “If I wanted to have sex with you, now would be the best time”. Unfortunately I was caught unprepared and immediately responded in my ‘defensive mode’ which for me, is to flirt (as I always feel uncomfortable around men who intimidate me). I replied “Bring it on”, even though I actually meant the opposite. He moved towards me, and jokingly went to touch my breast, and I froze. Thankfully, he didn’t, and I’m sure that sounds worse than it actually is, as maybe it was all meant in jest, but it still made me very uncomfortable. I have the opportunity today to behave skilfully as I am prepared in advance that he MAY be inappropriate again as I am alone in the office again.
Be Fair: The postman is not acting appropriately. Perhaps this was an oversight on his part and a one off, therefore I am not going to report him. Perhaps I am giving him too much credit and another girl might have reported him as soon as it happened. But, if it happens again, I will have no hesitation in reporting him. I believe this is BEING (more than) FAIR.
No Apologies: I am not going to apologise or feel bad about feeling intimidated, awkward or uncomfortable. It is not fair on him to make me feel like this. A postman (or any man who is in his position) should NOT EVER discuss anything like this with a client. It is completely inappropriate and I am completely justified in feeling like this.
Stick to Values: My values tell me that he is being inappropriate and I am not willing to make any allowances for him.
Be Truthful: If it happens today, I am going to hold my head up high and tell him that he is acting inappropriately and making me feel uncomfortable, and if it happens again, I will report him. (Well, I’m going to try my best. Typing that out made my stomach turn over with fear and anxiety)