Just wanted to drop you a line to let you know how things are going. I have been updating a little more regularly over on my other blog here as I don’t want to clog up this one with baby related stuff (that I’m sure a lot of you wouldn’t be interested in!).
Anyway, all is good here. Everything is going well in terms of the pregnancy and James… in fact…. on the day of the 12 week scan, he proposed!!! I just wanted to share this picture as this is what we used to do our “facebook” announcement. The feedback was absolutely amazing, with so many positive comments and messages. I don’t think I have ever felt so cared for and loved as I did reading all those comments – it was a real boost.
Things have been really good on the whole, and life has been busy with the big house extension that is going on. Our little cottage is rapidly turning from a cosy one bedroom cottage to a (slightly less) cosy three bedroom cottage! (Thankfully in the nick of time as baby is due in December!).
I have been meaning to start cracking back on with the DBT as the pages on here (and my discussion of the books I have) are only half finished. When I have a bit more time to dedicate to it I am really going to get on to it. I find myself talking about it a lot as I find the skills useful (particularly interpersonal effectiveness). More on that soon hopefully.
Yesterday I had an appointment with the consultant psychiatrist (I was referred due to my mental health history and being pregnant). I found it quite funny that when all through my illness I was screaming and shouting for help I was put on long waiting lists before I could see something, but the second I am pregnant I am rushed in to see a consultant. I suppose it is because I have another life inside of me and they want to make sure that little life is going to be safe – so I shouldn’t feel bad about it. I just wish they had offered me the same type of help previously.
To cut a long story short, I felt proud to be able to tell her that I believed I was in recovery, that I had not taken any form of psychiatric medication for over a year, and that I had not self harmed for nearly two years. I told her I was happy in life, and although post natal depression was on my radar, I felt I was fully prepared for it by being ready to notice the symptoms and having a good support network around me. I identified a potential trigger as tiredness but discussed the plans I had put in place with James in terms of managing that. As a result, she congratulated me on my health and discharged me into midwifery led care (basically, I’m absolutely fine and do not need any special attention, woo hoo!). I am so pleased that my mental health history will have no bearing on my pregnancy and I can welcome this little one into the world without looking over my shoulder or worrying about being watched closely by the health services. This is what recovery feels like, and let me tell you, it feels amazing. It was worth the journey and it was worth the fight!
Anyway, I hope you are all well – I would love to hear from you all!
Love and hugs!