Tag Archives: affection

Glutton for punishment

I think the time has come to admit some home truths to myself and make some changes. I am going through life with one foot in the past and one in the present, leaving no foot free for the future, and until now I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself. But now I am. […]

The importance of the mother figure (and other life lessons)

“I have been able to identify a behaviour pattern throughout my life of “seeking” mother figures of whom I could emotionally connect with. The pattern goes as follows: 1) I meet someone who I perceive to be a “mother figure” (traditionally the right age and disposition) 2) I strike up a close friendship with them […]

Meeting new people and other ponderings

I have previously discussed this topic here and reading all your comments has pretty much helped me decide on how to go forward. Basically, I have a blind date with a man tomorrow night. He seems lovely – we have lots in common, his pictures look good (so it’s not really totally blind but I’ve […]

Another version

I while back I posted this picture, saying that it was the best picture I’d even seen, and that I could just feel everything I was meant to feel. Anyway, by pure luck, I actually came across the actual photograph this picture was drawn from (I didn’t even realised one existed). This is all I […]

Lovely Weekend – and a few thoughts.

I made a promise to myself, when I started this blog, that I would post when I was feeling good as well as feeling bad; after all, the name of the blog is Living With BPD so I owe it to you all to show you that there are times of light breaking up the […]

Strange happenings ~ and more valium *Triggering*

So saturday I had a pretty chilled out day, taking some pictures with the news lens that I have bought, having a good clearout (going to have to down-size before moving into the new house) and a good clearout always makes me feel better anyway. Saturday evening, Hogan was lame. I presumed maybe he had […]

Relationships; I am such a fuck up.

So it seems there wasn’t really much point in me asking in an earlier post how long to wait before discussing with a new partner your mental health history and showing them scars. I went on the ‘second date’ tonight with this man I met through an online dating site, and give him his due, […]

Making headway *triggering*

So, last night, I felt pretty awkward during my parents BBQ, so stayed in my room most of the time. I was still being overwhelmed by the urge to cut myself, and started chatting to one of my friends, Wendy, on facebook. She told me if it was that bad, I was welcome to stay […]

I nearly crashed my car, and had a slight relapse.

And it wasn’t even deliberate. Perhaps I wasn’t really concentrating, not really been ‘myself’ the past fews days; I was driving along the A road towards my house, following a delivery van. Suddenly, this van slowed almost to a halt and put its hazards lights on. Without really thinking, I swerved out the bypass the […]

The morning after the night before

I am feeling very anxious this morning. I didn’t want to get up, or come out of my room, having one of those days when I don’t want to face the world. I suppose not suprising really, as the last time I saw my Dad he was slamming a door in my face. But, bracing […]