Tag Archives: emotions

More updates and assessments

It’s been a good couple of days, quite productive in many ways. I am still feeling good about the way things are going, especially where James in concerned. I really feel as though I am falling in love with him – I know I have only known him for three weeks but this is how […]

Over emotional

Feeling really over emotional right now and very upset. I am trying to understand the reasons I am feeling this way and so far, this is what I can come up with. I believe the reasons are good enough to justify how upset I am feeling, so I am able to validate my feelings. However, […]

Why is the National Health Service so bad?

I know I should be grateful that in this country we get free healthcare (although when you think about it it isn’t completely free as we pay for it through taxes) but I am starting to feel completely let down by the NHS. I had an appointment this afternoon with a psychiatrist but Karen the […]

Highs, lows, on it goes.

It’s been a few busy days, but on the whole, things are good. On Thursday I had my assessment with my new CPN, Karen. It was meant to be Tuesday but she had car trouble, so she re-arranged. She came to the house, and I was so nervous before she arrived, I fussed around tidying […]

Can’t fight the urge to cut? Read this.

Last night when I got home, I was in a terrible state. I had had a rough morning at work, being told that there was to be a ‘big meeting’ at work on monday and feeling terrified about all the confrontation that that might incur. Then, at 3pm I left the office to show my […]

Stripped Back

I am struggling a little today. For some unknown reason, my mum is on the warpath. She is having digs about me and work that I haven’t done (and even work that hasn’t been done which isn’t my work to do). She has gone out of the office now and I had to fight the […]

Back here again

I am back here again. I want to cut. I feel so over emotional but I can’t cry. I feel exhausted despite having plenty enough sleep. Things escalated just before I left the office yesterday, finishing with an exchange of words between myself and another member of staff. This set the tone for today, for […]

They ain’t gonna be around forever kiddo.

Tonight I overheard my Dad telling my Mum that his PSA levels had increased from 8 to 11. Rewind almost two years ago, the mail comes in and I am flicking through when I see a window envelope addressed to my dad, but the paperwork inside had slipped down exposing the title ‘Oncology Appointment’. We […]

Valium, sigh.

Things seem to be on a slightly slippery slope again. I know this is mainly due to work but I don’t see any way to sort it. Yesterday, was a stressful day. Probably due to the weather, most people in their cars were ASSHOLES. Sorry, I know this is judgmental – perhaps, practicing non-judgmental stance […]

Not feeling so good today (A little poem)

Just thought instead of writing out how I feel today, I will share a little poem I hashed together ; Fighting the Feeling by Me! Just this morning, I couldn’t take the pain Wanted to cut to make it go away again The release that wakes a feeling inside A habit I am so desperate […]