Tag Archives: parent

Backing away from toxic people

As time goes by, I can sadly see more and more why I have ended up with mental health issues. *Disclaimer* – to my brother. I have chosen, until now, to not discuss your issues and their impact on my life. However, they have started to have such a large impact on me and I […]

Being pushed too far.

I honestly cannot, cannot do this any longer. For those who have followed this blog in the long term will know then historically I have had issues with both of my parents – not teen angst “I hate my life and my parents and everyone else” stuff, but more, discovering the ability to question, analyse, […]

Only I could find a therapist with BPD!

So last thursday I had my second session with my new “private counsellor”. During the first one, she was talking about my BPD and she happened to say “we” when describing one of the symptoms. I did hear it, but chose not to question her on it at that point. During this appointment however, she […]

Thoughts on recovery

It has been such a long time since I really sat down and dedicated some time and headspace to this blog. It’s funny- I leant so much on it was ill, but now I find myself with lots of thoughts but being unable to put them down into something readable. Life seems to be quite […]

The importance of the mother figure (and other life lessons)

“I have been able to identify a behaviour pattern throughout my life of “seeking” mother figures of whom I could emotionally connect with. The pattern goes as follows: 1) I meet someone who I perceive to be a “mother figure” (traditionally the right age and disposition) 2) I strike up a close friendship with them […]

I am weak.

I am sitting in my car outside the residential home which is home to, amongst others, my great Aunt Thelma. The reason I am here is that she is dying. I am one of those terrible people who never visits their relatives when they go into care. Its NOT that I don’t care, because I […]

Self harm scars and children *Triggering picture of old scars*

I need some advice. On Sunday I am meeting James’s nephew, who is 6. Obviously, I have scars which are mainly on my left arm, and some are pretty bad keloid scars. I asked James what he wanted me to say if his nephew asked about them, and he told me it was up to […]

Having a very wibbley day

Not really having a good day at all today. Tom was having his appointment with the consultant at the Oncology centre at the hospital this morning, at 10am, and was going to ring me when he was finished. I tried to keep busy with work, chatted to Jen on my phone, and generally trying not […]

A letter to my mother

 A while ago, I said I would write a letter to my mother, trying to explain, and perhaps improve things. This has been a long time in the coming and this is only a first draft. I would really, really appreciate your thoughts/comments/critique on this – anything I should add? Take out? Change? Please be […]

Invalidating comments

After yesterdays conversations, and racking my brains as to invalidating experiences in my childhood, which may have contributed to my emotional issues now, but as usual, I had a mental block and couldn’t think of anything (sometimes I wonder if that’s my brains way of protecting myself). Anyway, I didn’t have to wait for long. […]