Tag Archives: self help

Interpersonal Effectiveness – Part three (the skills)

As described in my first post, an overview of interpersonal effectiveness, there are 3 main goals in interpersonal effectiveness: 1) Object Effectiveness 2) Relationship Effectiveness 3) Self Respect Effectiveness For each of these goals, there is an acronym to help you remember how to achieve them. Object Effectiveness – gaining your objectives/goals in any given […]

Interpersonal Effectiveness – Part two (Making requests, being assertive & and assertive listening)

When interacting with others, you will sometimes need to decide whether it is appropriate to ask for something (and how to go about doing it), and whether it is appropriate to refuse a request when asked. How you ask or refuse should depend on the situation, and these skills are an important part of looking after […]

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy – Interpersonal Effectiveness (Part one – an overview)

Please note: All handouts are courtesy of Marsha Linehan, in her book “Skills Training Manual for the Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder”. She retains the copyright. As I now have a little more time on my hands I am resurrecting my review of the book “Skills Training Manual for treating Borderline Personality Disorder” by Marsha […]

I am the luckiest girl in the world

Hey, I know they all say that, but I really feel it, and that’s all that matters. Everything is going so well with James, and with him in my life, I feel as though I can cope with anything that life is going to bring my way. I have slowly opened up to him, and […]

DBT Skill ‘FAST’ & ‘DEARMAN’ in action

The DBT skills DEARMAN and FAST is used when you are in a confrontational situation where you need to maintain the respect for yourself whilst still being assertive and putting your point across. DEAR MAN is an acronym for Describe, Express, Assert, Re-inforce, (stay) Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate FAST is an acronym for be Fair, […]

Having a child when you have Borderline Personality Disorder

As far back as I can remember, I have wanted to have a family, but when I got ill I stopped believing it would ever happen. Now I have met James, I have allowed the thought to enter my head again, but obviously not until the time is right. I want to be in a […]

Free Online DBT Class – Start now if you are thinking about it

Last week the on-line DBT class that I do once per week ended, and it started again on Saturday at the beginning, with Lesson One, an introduction to DBT. This is a REALLY great class, I can’t say enough how much it is helping me. Every Saturday morning the moderators post a lesson from whichever […]

Homework number five: Online DBT Class

This week was a re-cap of the Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills, from the free on-line DBT class group http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/dbtclass/ HOMEWORK: Write out your examples of using the skills, made up or for real! Practising the skill FAST Yesterday I had a situation where the postman who delivers the mail to work made an inappropriate comment. I […]

Distress Tolerance – Part Five (Accepting Reality)

When finding yourself in a distressing situation, it can be a very useful skill to be able to accept the reality of that situation. In DBT terms, this is done through Radical Acceptance, Turning the Mind and Willingness . The word ‘radical’ means complete and total – which leads on to the fact that Radical […]

Distress Tolerance – Part Four (Pro’s and Con’s)

The final part of the distress tolerance module is about thinking of pro’s and con’s of tolerating or not tolerating a situation. The end goal of this process is allowing yourself to work out and understand that the pro’s of tolerating a situation far outweigh the pro’s of not tolerating it – and this can […]