Who are they?

I frequently mention people in my blog, and although normally their names are changed, I thought it would be useful to add a little run-down of who they all are;

Shelley (that’s me). Thirty, mother, fiance, partner in a business, dog lover, borderline. I love easily and quickly (too quickly), I hurt easily. I try to be a good person, and make people happy. I am shy, I lack self confidence. I am blogging about my life to help others going through the same.

Summer (no longer around!) is my ‘alter ego’. I do not believe I have a multiple personality, more than she is another side to me, a state of mind. It is easier to describe her as a separate person, but in reality she and I are the same. Where I am quiet, she is loud. Where I am shy, she is confident. Where I am faithful, she sleeps around. Where I am thoughtful, she is impulsive. She comes out in stressful occasions, or times when I am uncomfortable or under pressure, normally in an intimate situation. Summer is a symptom of my Borderline ‘Black and White’ Personality and I am learning to control this symptom.

Evie is my daughter and she is the best thing in my life. She is my greatest achievement and she makes me happy and proud every single day.

Lily is my second daughter. See the above comment!

Mum I work with my mum .. A lot of my stress used to be through the way she belittles me or treats me at work. I know she loves me but is not a particularly ‘maternal’ person so supporting me emotionally doesn’t come easy to her. I see know that she does her best for me, although it is not what I “need”. Our relationship has improved hugely over the past few years.

Jen was one of my best friends. I told her everything and she understood me completely. Sadly we have grown apart.

Kim was another of my closest friends. She has helped me in times of crisis and never judges me. We have also grown apart.

James is my husband (not his real name). We have been together for several years and he is the father of my children. Our relationship is on the most part good, although I do feel as though he doesn’t “understand” the borderline parts of my personality.

Simon was a long term ‘friend with benefits’. We went on holiday together in 2012 where I saw another side to him and decided to end the arrangement. He was the cause of my last self harming episode.

Tom was my dog trainer, until our relationship went to the next level. He is attached, and I ended things, which then turned the relationship very sour. We no longer speak.

Jean is a woman who I had a 2.5 year relationship with. It was very complicated (there is a blog post about it here) and had a very traumatic ending, causing me to have a breakdown and have several suicide attempts and hospitalisations. I now have no contact with her.

Wendy is another close friend who is very supportive of me. She is also older than me and has been a great help in times of crisis.

Vicki is my old CPN. I ceased contact with her when I moved counties and therefore my mental health provider was transferred.

Karen was my last CPN. I am no longer in mental health services so do not have a CPN.

Lyn was my carer who I lived with after I broke up with Jean, and was going through a very traumatic time. Things went sour as Lyn has her own ‘personality issues’.

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