Tag Archives: Mental Illness

I want to cut, but instead, I shall write.

October 28, 2019 · by · in Discussions · 1 Comment

Life feels very tough at the moment. It has been a long time since I have taken the time to actually sit down and write out how I am feeling, but tonight I reached the point where, after 7 years “free” from self harm, I could feel my strength and resolve waning. Please, feel free […]

Being pushed too far.

December 24, 2018 · by · in Discussions · 3 Comments

I honestly cannot, cannot do this any longer. For those who have followed this blog in the long term will know then historically I have had issues with both of my parents – not teen angst “I hate my life and my parents and everyone else” stuff, but more, discovering the ability to question, analyse, […]

Glutton for punishment

September 13, 2015 · by · in Discussions · 7 Comments

I think the time has come to admit some home truths to myself and make some changes. I am going through life with one foot in the past and one in the present, leaving no foot free for the future, and until now I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself. But now I am. […]

Soul Searching

April 22, 2015 · by · in Discussions · 4 Comments

Please bear with me on this, I think it may be a slightly long one, but I hope to cover quite a bit of ground. I have now been a mother for nearly six months, and although parenthood is this hard, whirlwind of a journey, it has been bloody amazing too. The tiredness and dirty […]

Helping myself

July 26, 2012 · by · in DBT, Discussions · 10 Comments

So look what arrived in the post today! So, I fully intend to go through this book from cover to cover, with a highlighter and making annotations. Before I start DBT through the NHS, I want to understand how best to help myself. I want to make this work more than anything, so hopefully I […]

*and breathe* *Triggering*

July 2, 2012 · by · in Discussions · 5 Comments

I have a draw full of Diazepam and I want to take it all. I can’t get rid of my rage right now. I am angry, so angry, I want to cry, I want to be violent!!!!! I can now understand how murders happen. I want to take pills. I think I will. I attempted […]

Rules for maintaining a BPD Relationship

June 11, 2012 · by · in Uncategorized · 1 Comment

So, all you fellow BPD sufferers out there will be with me when I say, for normal people, maintaining a healthy, happy and intimate relationship is difficult. When you add BPD into the mix, it is damn near impossible, but I have come up a few simple rules that seem to help me, maybe they […]

‘A few more scars won’t hurt’ *TRIGGERING IMAGES*

June 4, 2012 · by · in Discussions · 1 Comment

PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU WILL BE TRIGGERED. CONTAINS IMAGES OF SELF HARM. The mantra used by most self harmers which couldn’t be further from the truth. How do your scars affect your daily life? I try to use mine to show other self harmers what NOT to do. For a long while, I […]

Never underestimate your effect as a parent

May 29, 2012 · by · in Discussions · 1 Comment

One of my biggest concerns of becoming a parent (just to clarify I am  not pregnant, just thinking about the future) would firstly be if there is a genetic element to BPD, and secondly how my BPD would affect how I brought up my child. I love my parents, and they love me. But it […]

Not living up to a stereotype

May 25, 2012 · by · in Discussions, Research · 3 Comments

I realised this morning that I knew how to describe what I think goes on sometimes. Now bear with me, but it feels almost as if my personality or ‘self’ is split into two parts – the first ‘adult’ part is sensible and mentally healthy, the second ‘child’ part is immature and unstable. These two […]

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