Monthly Archives: December 2012
New Year and a New Start?
So here we are, the last day of 2012, the day before the anniversary of starting my blog. So much has changed since the 31st December 2011, mostly for the better. Looking at positives, I bought a house which, despite needing a lot of work, I adore, and already feels like home. I still have […]
When it comes down to it
Sorry, this is going to be a low post. I am tired, but nothing has triggered me. I am starting to realise that when it comes down to it, when there are no obvious present emotions (such as anger, pain, mania, happiness, joy) I seem to revert to my default emotion of hopelessness and self […]
Christmas is gone… time to move on…
Christmas has gone relatively well, better than it has done in years gone past with no dramas. I woke up on christmas morning in my cottage, got dressed and went to visit my grandma thelma, who is in a home. I call her my grandma, she is actually my dads aunt, but i’ve always called […]
Consultant Appointment today
The re-arranged appointment with my new CPN Karen and the consultant was today at 2pm. This morning I went to work and managed to sort out most things outstanding, which was good, it felt good to know I wouldn’t be too worried about things at work over the christmas break. Hogan came to work with […]
Challenging anxiety-provoking thoughts with logic
I have been very anxious over the past week, as you know, and have been heavily relying on valium to get me through, but this impacts me and my ability to function at a normal level. I decided last night to sit down and think about the things that are making me anxious, and try […]
I’ve been nominated for another award
The Rules Write an acceptance speech, linking back to the person who gave it to you. Write 7 things you believe in. Give the award to as many brilliant blogs as you would like to share the love. I would like to thank Marci at mm172001.wordpress.com for this very kind nomination, which I gratefully accept. (Go […]
Why is the National Health Service so bad?
I know I should be grateful that in this country we get free healthcare (although when you think about it it isn’t completely free as we pay for it through taxes) but I am starting to feel completely let down by the NHS. I had an appointment this afternoon with a psychiatrist but Karen the […]
Can’t cope.
This is very hard, I am really struggling today. Kim – I know you follow me on here so please, I ask you to stop reading this post now as I need to be completely honest about how I am feeling and I don’t want you to think I am a complete mess. I can’t […]
Things are getting worse not better.
Although I didn’t feel like it, I went to the dog show, which was in the NEC in Birmingham, a big center with lots of different halls, areas and car parks. It was lovely to see my friends, and most people were friendly and kind towards me. I say most people – because I ran […]
Bad Anxiety Tonight
Struggling quite a bit tonight. Only stayed at the works christmas meal for a short while as wasn’t really feeling that sociable and kept on drifting in and out – kept finding myself staring into space with all these conversations going around me but not understanding or taking it what they were, then realising someone […]
Life after BPD 
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